The idea that a teenager could ever hurt themselves deliberately is incredibly painful for parents and loved ones. When a teen self-harms, parents are often shocked and confused about what to do next. Parents and loved ones often wonder why it occurred in the first place. They may understand that professional help is warranted, but knowing how to respond and keep their child safe in the moment is another matter.
Navigating this kind of situation is not easy, but it is possible. Understanding self-harm and the best ways to respond can help parents protect their teen and provide the support they need to recover.
Defining Self-Harm
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines self-harm, or non-suicidal self injury (NSSI), as any intentionally self-inflicted injury that is not meant to be suicidal. This can include cutting, scratching, hitting, or other methods. Alarmingly, the APA notes that as much as 17 percent of adolescents have self-harmed based on international studies.
Self-harming does not mean that someone is considering suicide. However, the APA cautions that self-harm can increase the risk of suicide attempts in the future. The Suicide Prevention Resource Center offers tools and resources to help keep teens in crisis safe.
Why Do Teens Self-Harm?
Self-harm occurs in adolescence due to a variety of factors. Firstly, teens are undergoing rapid emotional changes that can feel overwhelming. Many teens, especially those with underlying mental health issues, lack healthy coping methods to manage these emotions. Deconstructing Stigma notes that self-harm can offer teens a sense of emotional relief or release that they feel they can’t find elsewhere. Self-harm can also be a way of expressing low self-esteem, with highly self-critical teens more likely to harm themselves.
Other factors can make self-harm more likely. The Mayo Clinic notes that peer pressure, loneliness, and relationship conflict can all push a teen towards self-harm. Research has shown a link between traumatic experiences in childhood and an increased risk of self-harm in adolescence. Teens who self-harm are also more likely to report being bullied by their peers, as well as expressing discomfort around their sexual identity.
The Links Between Self-Harm and Mental Health Conditions
Self-harm frequently occurs alongside other mental health conditions. Self-harm in youth is closely linked to depressive mood and attention-related problems. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry notes connections between self-harm and psychosis, post-traumatic stress disorder, and bipolar disorder. Links to anxiety disorders, borderline personality disorder, and eating disorders have also been found. Many of these conditions are marked by difficulties with emotional regulation.
Because self-harm is often a symptom of a deeper mental health issue, treatment must address the condition driving the behavior. Treating self-harm without treating what’s driving it leaves the underlying risk in place.
How Parents Can Respond to Self-Harm
Teens who self-harm may hide their injuries, making it difficult for parents or loved ones to realize the behavior is occurring. When parents do discover their teen is self-harming, it’s natural to want to react quickly. Deconstructing Stigma notes that any discovery of self-harm, or any suspicion that a teen is thinking of harming themselves, should prompt a direct, caring conversation about suicidal thoughts. Research shows that asking a teen directly whether they are thinking about suicide does not plant the idea or make suicide attempts more likely. Rather, it lets them know that they are supported and opens the door to seeking professional help.
In starting a conversation with your teen, Healthy Children notes that a non-judgmental approach is best. Ideally, this involves listening more than anything. Strong reactions are common and expected, but it’s important for parents to communicate their worries around self-harm and the need to bring up the topic with the teen’s doctor.
Healthy Children further recommends consulting your teen’s pediatrician, as well as allowing one-on-one time for your teen to work with them. This allows teens, families, and providers to develop an effective care plan together.
Parents can also work to create a safer home environment for the teen. Removing any physical hazards, like sharp knives or weapons, is an important step. Developing a crisis and suicide prevention plan can ensure families have the resources in place to keep their teen safe. Finally, building a supportive, low-stress environment at home can help teens feel safe. Healthy Children offers more details and resources to help parents respond to their teen’s self-harm effectively.
How Professional Treatment Can Help
Professional treatment can give teens healthy tools to manage their emotions rather than relying on self-harm to cope. Deconstructing Stigma notes that dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is typically a first-line treatment for teens who self-harm. It teaches teens skills like distress tolerance and emotional regulation that directly target the urges behind self-harm. DBT also includes mindfulness techniques, which the Mayo Clinic notes can cope with difficult feelings in the moment.
The Mayo Clinic writes that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help teens identify and change the thought patterns that contribute to emotional distress. CBT teaches healthy coping techniques that can help teens manage difficult or stressful emotions and situations. It also helps teens modify their behavior and find new, constructive outlets for expressing emotion.
Medication may be used as part of a broader treatment plan to treat underlying mental health conditions, like depression, that may contribute to self-harming behavior.
In cases of repeated self-injury or suicide risks, the Mayo Clinic notes that inpatient treatment can provide a safe, short-term environment where teens can stabilize as they work through a crisis. Day treatment settings, such as outpatient programs, can also provide a safe space to practice helpful skills with professional support before applying them at home and school.
Self-Harm Treatment at Pillars Adolescent in Concord, Massachusetts
At Pillars Adolescent, our teen outpatient treatment programs help teens find safer ways to cope with the difficult emotions that drive self-harm and other mental health struggles. We’re located at 80-1 Beharrell St, Concord, Massachusetts.
Our Full-Day Teen Outpatient Treatment Program offers structured therapeutic support for teens whose symptoms significantly interfere with daily functioning. Our Half-Day Teen Outpatient Treatment Program provides intensive clinical care with greater scheduling flexibility, allowing teens to continue participating in school and other responsibilities while receiving treatment.
We deliver evidence-based therapies, including DBT and CBT, across individual and group settings. We teach teens concrete alternatives to self-harm for managing distress, leading to greater self-esteem, confidence, and overall well-being. We keep families informed and involved every step of the way.
Taking Self-Harm Seriously
For parents, a teen’s self-harm can be as difficult to understand as it is frightening. By responding with compassion and connecting a teen with professional support, families have the best chance of addressing what’s underneath the behavior. With the right treatment, teens struggling with their mental health can find safe, productive ways to manage difficult emotions and build lasting recovery.
Take the first step toward healing and happiness for your teen and your family. Contact Pillars Adolescent today at 855-828-0575 for compassionate support, personalized care, and answers to your questions.
